Emergency Affirmations for Exceptionally Stupid Days

When the jitters hit, Brass Monkey’s Emergency Affirmations have your back. Inside this desk-friendly box are 100 unique, no-nonsense pep talks—like “You’re going to kick today in the nuts”—ready to boost your confidence and get you back in the game.

Each card is printed on heavy-weight stock (tough enough to handle a few stress-induced tears) and housed in a displayable two-piece box you can keep close for whenever life throws you a curveball. Just pull one out, read it in the mirror, and get ready to take on the world.

The outer box measures 4” by 5.3” by 1.7”
Cards measure 3.5” x 5”

We accept returns for a full refund within 14 days of delivery on online purchases—excluding FINAL SALE items, which are not eligible for return or exchange. Returned goods must be unworn and in new condition, free of stains, odors, or any other condition that would prevent the item from being sold as new. Products must be returned in their original packaging—we’re unable to accept products sent back in damaged or taped packaging. Items not in sellable condition will be refused or returned to the sender without a refund.

We do our best to ship orders within 24 hours. In most cases, orders received on weekends, holidays, and after noon (Pacific Time) will be processed and shipped the next business day.